New Job

I have been with my company for almost 7 years now. I've worn a few different hats, but always been client facing, in either an implementation or relationship role with sort of a technical flair. I've been through being acquired twice, and acquiring other companies twice, along with many, many management changes. I am used to the ups and downs. Last fall, they did a complete restructure of how every department interfaces with clients, new technology, etc. Right now, it's pretty much a mess. During the reorganization, I had to pick if I wanted to use my technical skills, or my relationship management skills as my unique role was no longer going to exist. I picked technical.

So far, it has been great. I am playing with a whole new level of players, my clients are internal, and I am still in a role that it unique and has a lot of freedom to do it the way I want to do it. But, there are a few things that are driving me nuts.... One is that I am used to being in fire mode. Coming in each day with client issues beyond my control. I have always worked more than a full week, checked e-mails upon waking in the morning, and kind of been consumed by my work. I am adapting to leaving for the day, and really being done. This is a good thing, really, but I'm getting used to it. The biggest thing that is driving me nuts, is that my internal clients are stressed beyond belief. So, even though my ultimate goal is to increase efficiency and get rid of some of their stress each month, a few of them have overall crappy attitudes right now and the word metrics is as bad as any four letter word. Is just one more thing they need to do as managers.

I think the low moral is the hardest part for me. I don’t feel very empathetic right now. I kind of feel like the extra happy nurse on Gray's Anatomy that bugs the crap out of everybody. I do this everywhere, even in my own life. Trust me, I can get extremely angry or sad or let down or worried in the moment, but it is always just in the moment. So, when I hear somebody struggle with the same issues over and over and just waiting for a magic wand to appear, I stop listening. It's just how I function and is just who I am. I've always let things role off of me. But, this is extra hard for me because now that so many people are pissed off at management, they just don't want to do anything more than is necessary. I get it, I really, really do, but because I am not in the same boat right now I feel like I have to quickly remove myself from any negative conversation. I've always been the listener in my office, and somehow know a lot of things about a lot of people that they normally wouldn’t share, but right now I just can't be. I really love my current projects and what I am learning, so I will just ride this wave out for a little longer and see what happens.