Utah Adoption Laws

Letter to the Utah Legislature........

I write to you today with an open heart and would like to share with you how adoption has shaped who I am, and how important changing the current adoption laws in Utah would be in the life of one little boy.

My partner and I are both professionals who are moms to a great kid. Our son is a very bright, articulate and fun loving child who has his sites set on a career in engineering. He loves playing with friends, art, music, video games, reading and sudoku. He is not just surviving, he is thriving. We are a family like any other family. We brush our teeth and do laundry just like everybody else.

In getting to this happy place, our son has had to overcome a number of obstacles. With birth parents too young and incapable to care for him and his two other siblings, he had experienced a number of traumatic events in the earliest developmental stages of his life too graphic to mention. While his extended family loved him deeply, it just wasn’t enough. DCFS got involved, and immediately all three children were removed from their home. I got a phone call from my cousin, his grandmother, who asked that I take him into my home. I agreed without a moment’s hesitation. About a year later, his biological parents made the brave and wise decision to relinquish their rights and allow the children to be adopted.

The two youngest were adopted by another family, and I was blessed to be able to adopt my son. Shortly after, my life partner and I met. Had I not been single at the time, the current Utah law would have prevented me from adopting him. He has been through years of therapy and a lot of hard work. He has done most of the work, but my partner and I have been able to provide him with a lot of love and many opportunities to develop his interests and celebrate the uniqueness of what he brings to the world. For the first time ever in his life, he has a permanent place to call home.

We are in the process of expanding our family, and we would adopt another child if possible. Recently we learned of a child who was abandoned by her mother, who was too young and addicted to drugs to take care of a child. Had the laws been different, we could have pursued taking this child into our home. As it is, we will hope that she finds a great home. Instead of adoption, one of us will give birth to a child to whom we will both make a spiritual and financial commitment. Regardless of the rights that we deserve, our children should have the basic right of having two legal parents who wish to make a legal commitment to them. In a world where many parents abandon their responsibilities, thousands of wonderful people are asking for the right to make a legal commitment to their children.

As infants, my brother and I were adopted by two loving parents who provided us with many opportunities, a lot of love and guidance, and a childhood that we may not have experienced had anything prevented them from adopting us. In the event of something happening to me, they would see the importance of our son remaining in his loving and stable home, and wouldn’t try and prevent it. However, for thousands of other Utah families, this is not the case.

As a family who contributes a great deal to our community, and asks for very little in return, it angers me that my child cannot have the benefit of having two legal parents. I urge you to recognize the diversity of the family and allow these wonderful children to their basic rights and protections.

Best Regards,