Jumping on the Wordpress Bandwagon..........

Yes, I am moving over to Wordpress..... You can find me at SimpleExistence.Wordpress.com

Great Food, Friends, and What a Cake!

Some really sweet friends threw a birthday party for my beloved on Sunday. Great Indian food.... grilled tandoori chicken, chicken kurma, naan, greens, bombay potatoes, mango lasses and wine.





The kids were here, but doing their own thing outside with the bubbles. The conversation was nice... The photographer is missing here......



The cake was amazing!!! Amy made this four layer cake filled with sweet creamy goodness and a lot of love. The oustide was covered in toasted coconut and strawberries. It was pure heaven!






Weston and Vincent played Amy's harmonium. SweetBoy had a hard night overall, but was a little intrigued by the harmonium and then he headed back upstairs with to play with Jack. Weston also played his guitar, which was the perfect way to end the evening. I have a wonderful family and great friends. I couldn't ask for anything more. Well, maybe one thing... Trae is struggling with some stuff right now, but that is another post. Overall, life is great.

Happy Birthday Baby

Yesterday was my beloved's birthday. I feel so lucky to get to grow old together. Every year brings new opportunities and moments of getting to love and be loved deeply. For that I am grateful, and for that I love her with all of my heart. We had a day full of presents, and then a delicious dinner with my parents at Cafe Trang, with a carrot cake to follow. Yummy....

I can't wait to celebrate her again tonight with Pam and the kids, and then on Saturday on Trae's 'surprise' birthday hike, and then some very kind and wonderful friends are throwing her a birthday dinner on Sunday. Birthday weeks are good. :-)

Trae is so sweet. He never remembers to get us gifts without one of us reminding him. He has been planning Deb's 'surprise' birthday hike for the last week and a half, completely on his own. He asked her to please make sure that we don't have any errands to run, as that is all we have done the last week. I asked if he wanted to also get her a gift card for her favorite coffee shop, and he said that one coffee after the hike would have to do. I think it is so sweet that he picked giving her an experience over buying a gift with my money.

Love, Love, Love the new kitchen!

I LOVE our new kitchen. We have been without a kitchen for over a week now, and with the exception of the range being delivered, we are almost back in order. I had no idea how hard it would be to eat good food without a kitchen. Our saving grace was One World Café! It was really the only way we could feel like we were eating anything nourishing. We tried to eat one big meal there each day. We don’t eat out often, so it was kind of fun, but I can’t wait to start cooking again! If I knew how to load pictures I would post some. Maybe I will try and figure it out this weekend.

Spicing up the Kitchen

We have been stuck for the last couple of years in house limbo. That is mostly because we have been stuck in baby limbo. Should we sell the house, should we do a major remodel, can we find the perfect house without losing all of our financial freedom?? It's been fun looking for houses, but stressful at the same time.

Knowing we have plenty of space for the three of us, has finally brought some movement. Finally!!!! We are finally going to remodel our kitchen. I think this is the most movement we have made ever. As much as I really don't like a number of things, I would have been happy with just getting new appliances. So, to realize they can do the whole kitchen and stick to our budget is amazing. The labor costs are very reasonable, and we are saving a ton of money based on their ideas and experience.

We are painting the walls a color called firenze.... A color that makes me want to cook Indian food, or drink a Mexican hot chocolate. Spicy. We are getting new appliances. Yes, yes, yes... Finally, a gas stove, and real fridge...

We have decided to do something in the middle. We are only remodelling as if we might sell it one day, but only putting in the things we love....... without breaking the bank. Once we finish the kitchen, we will be moving to the front of the house to add a little curb appeal. We are going to paint the front door a color called warm cognac...

Then on to the bathroom..................

Our Sweet Baby Girl Sophia

Our sweet baby girl Sophia,

After writing my last post, I felt this rush of sadness and a moment of wondering if we have let you down. Wondering if you are a soul wanting to connect with body, or a dream that we have felt for so long. We have talked to you and hoped for you. I feel you with me, or your wisdom passing through me. Not the baby you, but the wise woman that is my teacher. The learning has been in the process. I know in my heart that our path is the right one, but I feel the loss of you at the same time. This song just came on, and fits.... So, be free like a bird, like the restless wind.....

Where do you go little bird

When it snows, when it snows

When the world turns to sleep

Do you know, do you know

Is there something in the wind

Breathes a chill in your heart and life in your wings

Does it whisper 'start again'

Start again

Where is the sun in the night

Is it cold, is it cold

Does it feel left behind

All alone, all alone

Does it wander through the dark

Does it wait for the dawn, wish on a star

Does it stray very far

Very far

Where is your home restless wind

Is it there, is it here

Do you search for a place to belong

Search in vain, search in fear

Or is your spirit everywhere

Is your voice every tree

Your soul of the air

If there's no home is there no death

Is there no death

The Freedom of Letting Go

To actually write this post, is probably one of the final steps of letting go for me. For the past year, we have struggled with infertility, struggled over buying the perfect house, and been in a place of non-movement. Well, in those areas anyway. Lots of movement career wise and a lot of movement and growth with Sweet Boy. We have grown tremendously as individuals, as a couple, and as a family.


We both had this amazing breakthrough this weekend, that it doesn't need to really be a struggle anymore. We really looked at what it would be like to keep our family the same size. It was so beautiful have such an appreciation for the life we have with the three of us. We can keep our same house, and same mortgage, have it paid of in 10 years. We can travel the world with Sweet Boy. We can retire early. We can play. We can find ways to make a difference in the lives around us.


My Beloved has found a new passion for her work. Over the past year, she has dissolved her private practice and she got a job in an academic environment. For the first time in a long time, she will work in a team environment. Yes, students pondering the meaning of life, which means not as many clients in complete crisis. Also, she was given a very generous opportunity to attend an integral coaching workshop and officially work as an integral coach in the future. I can't wait. When she talks about the idea of helping others see their greatness through integrated modalities she lights up. I have a new passion for my work as well. Life is good.


I have moments of sadness and mourning. I have more moments of peace and feeling we are on the right path. Sweet Boy has his tough moments, but I love every part of him, and every experience we get to grow from. Good and bad. He really needs us to show up for him right now, and I love the feeling knowing that we can breathe easy and give him what he needs. I can give me what I need. My lover and I can experience the world. Life can be simple. I need it to be simple.

It's Paying Off

So, a few weeks ago I started a post that I never finished. Basically, I was bitching and moaning about the fact that my family can hike 24/7, for hours at a time, and I on the other hand, can barely make it 20 minutes into the hike without turning into a big wimp and asking if we can go back. I would always finish the hike, but begrudgingly so. My cardio was shot. Deb has always been so patient about it.

I had Epstein-barr right after high school, and ever since then, I’ve had this story that it was impossible for me to ever be as fit as I was then. Then I found out that I had a thyroid condition that made me gain weight and get tired and basically be a mess emotionally and physically. So, with my very real thyroid problem, and my residual stories from my younger years, I have never really owned getting back in shape. I hit a period right before my thyroid was diagnosed where it went into the opposite state and I was quickly down to a size four, I then shot way back up to a much larger size. I have been on meds for a while now. Huge improvement, but still not in shape. When I have been small, I have been what I call skinny fat. Small, but not really in shape.

A little over a month ago, I decided to take control over my health. No more excuses. Deb and I joined our local community center and have been lifting weights. I am eating more balanced than I ever have. I am taking supplements, drinking water, and eating as organically and unprocessed as I can. I have lost a few pounds, and I am starting to look a bit more toned, and my skin has cleared up. The biggest reward is that we went on a hike Sunday and I could actually get through the hike without complaining. Deb was so sweet and it dawned on us, that I wasn’t complaining at all. In fact, I might have been able to go further. I could actually breathe this time. It was so amazing. We got high enough to see the entire city, all the way out to the Great Salt Lake. It started to snow, and it looked as if we were in the middle of a snow globe.

I have no doubt that I couldn’t function right now without my thyroid medicine. However, I am seeing amazing changes in my body due to diet and exercise alone. My emotions are balanced, my mental fogginess has lifted and I am much more focused. I am thinking about seeing if I can go off my medicine after a few more months of an integrated holistic approach to my health. I do believe that a lot of our problems are genetic, and do need the treatments of traditional medicine, but I question all the millions of health problems that have increased over the years. I find it hard to believe that a number of them are not caused by environmental factors and can’t be treated holistically or through diet. We saw a show the other day on how many kids are being diagnosed as bipolar and ADHD. I believe that the number has increased, but nobody is asking how the hell this is happening. Seriously, what we put into our bodies is so important. I can’t believe that there isn’t a correlation on how the chemicals in processed food, drives our nervous system and mental functions.

Recently, I have read numerous stories of people who had diabetes, thyroid conditions, and auto-immune diseases, who have now been undiagnosed due to simply eating a different way, a holistic way. So, here’s to my new found joy in whole food. I love what I am eating, and love how I feel. So far, this is going to be my best summer in a long time. :-)

Perfect Valentines

My beloved gave the most perfect gift, completely from her heart..... I was so surprised and touched.

Here is a new poem I discovered also.....

A Ceremony

(excerpt)

We will grow old, and older. One of us will die, and then the other. The earth itself will be impaled on sun spokes. It doesn't matter. We have been imprinted on the protons of energy herself,

and so stand in another atmosphere, where an undiscovered star we will never live to see casts shadows on a grove of succulents we cannot yet imagine. There our interchangeable features still vibrate and blur, each smile half of one circle, each utterance spiraling like light upward in shudders along the spine as if the moon and you and I were slivers of one mirror, gazing on herself at last.

~ Robin Morgan ~

Sweet boy left his valentines at school, so instead he played us a song on his guitar. We then ate sushi and a yummy little heart cake. It was sooo good! We watched a beautiful movie called Once. Great music and very sweet. Kind of like watching a home movie filmed with very tender and awake eyes. Highly recommend it.