HB318 - Letter to those who don't believe in the democratic process.

While I understand, and on some level even respect, that we have different philosophical differences, I write to you today with an open heart.

I am not asking you personally to vote for HB318. I understand that it goes against your values. I ask that you, in spite of our philosophical differences, allow my voice to be a part of the democratic process and to allow HB318 to leave committee and be voted on by the fine elected representatives that the entire state has elected.

This is how HB318 impacts my son and many others like him…..

By the time my son was four, he had been sexually abused, had a gun pointed at this head, witnessed inappropriate sexual activity, had never had a stable place to live for longer than a few months at a time, and was malnourished and neglected - both physically and emotionally. His mother got pregnant at 14, and by the time all of this happened, he was the oldest of three children. Thankfully for them, the state stepped in and removed them from their home.

Not many people in Utah want to adopt a kid with his background, they want babies. Try placing three non-white children in the state of Utah. Many people do it for the right reasons, but a lot do it for the foster care money. With the exception of covering his medical and therapy expenses, I didn’t ask for one dime. I could have, but I didn’t. It would have been much easier to adopt him with the support of a partner, but lucky for him, I was single at the time. Had I not been, he would have been placed in the foster care system and would have lost all contact with his biological family, as nobody could step up to the plate to take him. The state, and his grandmother, entrusted me with his care, and he still gets to see her once in a while. We have been through a number of things which many foster parents would have simply given up on.

Our son is a very bright, articulate and fun loving child. It has taken him years of therapy, love, patience and boundaries to get here. He still has fallout from his past, but we get through it one step at a time. I would love for you to meet him, talk to him, any of this teachers, or parents of his friends, and have them tell you what a great family he is a part of. He is thriving, not just surviving. Have dinner with us, meet us, see that we really all come from the same fabric, and we are all part of the human family.

I heard that there are over 2,600 children in Utah’s foster care system waiting to be adopted. My partner and I are in the process of expanding our family and it is too bad we can’t adopt one of them. Instead, we will spend about 1,000 a month in fertility treatment, which we would happily spend on a child already in need, should the laws ever be changed.

My family is probably a lot more like yours than you might imagine. I have a great career, and my partner has put her private practice on hold, so that she can stay home give more energy to our family. Regardless of how you feel about our rights as parents, our children should have the basic right of having two legal parents who wish to make a legal commitment to them. In a world where many parents abandon their responsibilities, thousands of wonderful people are asking for the right to make a legal commitment to their children.

Please do the democratic and American thing, and let this bill get out of committee. That is all I ask.

Best Regards,